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I have a lot of insecurities that have grown on me since I have been in high school. My friends especially, have helped to feed on my fears to make them worse and worse each time. My worries are just out of habit I suppose, but they are just normal fears that everyone else encounters during their teenage years. They include my weight and my shyness.
I am sure that every girl once in their life time has felt large or overweight and I am included with them. Its not that I feel I am extremely fat but I have a bulging stomach that is especially apparent when I am in ballet class. I have fond out though that if I don’t eat on dance days, then I don’t have to worry that problem. I feel better about myself when I almost have a flat stomach and I feel like I look tons better too. The only problem is that its hard to not eat and not have anybody notice, especially Kristen and my parents. But, I do it any ways; I will do anything to make me feel better about myself.
I am also very shy which most people realize the moment I meet them. I don’t mean to be but I always feel like anything I have to say isn’t important or won’t mean anything to anybody. Every time I am forced to make a speech, I feel like an idiot standing up there, all eyes on me waiting for me to make some profound statement or to make a complete fool of myself. I have all these thoughts and more when giving a speech, or meeting someone new that race through my body and end up making my voice quiver or skip as I speak.
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These are just a few of my many insecurities or fears that my mind imprisons me in, but it’s not like I don’t help to overcome them. I try but every time I do, it ends up making my fears and images worse than they really are. My best friend says I have a low self esteem, and I am beginning to think she’s right.
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